Updated: Aug 10, 2020
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Let me start with a normal conversation between two friends.
Isha – Yaar I think that Karan will be upset about the incident and he may think what a clumsy woman I am, and may not ever talk to me!
Neha – Listen Isha, stop overthinking! You only spilled water on him by mistake. Itna bada deal nahi tha.
The reason for this conversation is because Isha, had mentioned this to her friend at least a 100 times in the last 2 days!
Does not seem like a big deal to some of you right? But ask an OVERTHINKER.
This was the simplest example I could give for the term, to explain to the simplest person about this topic.
Overthinking – a term used very casually between conversations, but the intensity of it is known to just the ones who are the over-thinkers.
A simple term which describes a person who thinks a little bit too much about anything and everything.
Right from what a stranger thinks of them who casually glanced their way, to what their boyfriends think of the casual comment they passed without realizing. The list is vast, because the over-thinkers have a hundred scenarios going on their mind – for a small situation/incident/statement/comment which probably doesn’t even matter to the other person.
They’re the ones, who repeat conversations multiple times in their head and wish they had said or done something differently. They’re the ones who fret about the tiniest of things which will pass within no time and doesn’t require that much attention. They’re also the ones who think about the biggest matters in life, but could end up complicating things because they’re unsure of their mind. They change their mind quite often, resulting from the excess thinking they do.
I know this, because I myself am an over-thinker. I’ve been busy nowadays with work, and I am loving it because it takes my mind away from overthinking about stuff.
Overthinking can be taxing on a person’s mental health. It can make a person dwell into the negativities of a situation, which maybe wasn’t existing in the first place. Thinking about a situation, problem, possibility etc is great – you get solutions. But over-thinking? Instead of resolving issues, it creates more problems. Not a quality you should have. If you can deal with it in a positive way, then way to go! Else, try to let this habit go.
I would like to share some tips that I use for stopping myself from overthinking and I hope that it helps you too.
Try to see the red flag and realize the issue at the beginning. Anytime you find yourself feeling over stressed or anxious about a situation, step back and notice how you’re responding. Maybe try to change your perception and outlook, so you don’t dwell into deep thinking which may eventually lead to you overthink about it.
Don’t think negatively of every situation you have in front of you. It may be a bad situation in which you’re stuck, but focus on any good that could come out of it. Think of anything in that situation that makes you happy and then change the negative outlook into positive. Even one single positive thought can change your perception.
Distract yourself but doing activities that keep you busy. Watch series, go out with friends, exercise, dance, painting or whatever hobby that you like. Each time you find yourself in a negative space, start doing something that calms you. Meditation is an excellent way to calm yourself down, and even better is if you have someone who you can talk to about it. But make sure you don’t overthink right after talking to them!
Let the little things go! The small comment your friend made about the color of your dress, the remark your colleague made about the mistake you made in a presentation, the way your mum told you that you can be better cook if you tried, the time your partner was silent on the drive because they was tired and it had nothing to do with you – JUST LET THESE GO!
Coming back to me, I distract myself by painting. I’m not good at drawing, so I use colouring books. There are great ones which are known to help calm your mind. You can search ‘Mandala color books’ on Amazon.
Remember, it always easy to make things seem bigger than they actually are, by paying too much attention to them. And that may cause a negative reaction. The next time you find yourself making a mountain out of a molehill, ask yourself how much would it really matter after 5 years? Ask yourself if it would even matter in 2 years, and if the other person even remembers it?
For all of us who are waiting for the perfect situation, or are trying to make a situation perfect – we can stop waiting and wanting now. Being ambitious is great, but wanting to control every situation or wanting each situation to work out the way you want – isn’t realistic. Its impractical and can be draining for a person.
Accept the situation, try to change if you can. But if you can’t, move on.
Any tips that you guys have for me, please leave a comment below.
Image by Morgan Harper-Nichols from Pixabay